Slice of Pie: The Origin of the Creeper

The origin of the Creeper is a little known fact - only a few know it, ranging from various CreepyPasta characters to Barney the Dinosaur. I have taken time out of my day (and the rest of my now shortened life) to gather information of the roots of this beast. I would say "I hope you enjoy this production", but any enjoyment you get from this will quickly disappear the next time you step out the front door.

The Creeper is said to be derived from Scathach the Warrior, or a Tyrannosaurus Rex. Or perhaps both. 

The earliest Creepers.

When I asked Barney to describe the creeper, he detailed his first encounter with one.
"It happened one day when I was teaching children how to smoke, and telling them that alcohol was good. I was in the middle of a demonstration, when out of the blue, a Creeper fell from the sky. Startled, the cigarette fell out of my mouth. Several children grabbed for it, and they missed. It happened to hit the Creeper, igniting him. I lost my entire supply of alcohol and cigarettes that day."
        -Barney, on his encounter.

It's clear that the Creeper's origins are mysterious, but what of their ability, and what is contained in their body?

 

The Creeper of today.

Despite popular belief, the Creeper does not contain TNT. It does have a mixture of redstone, gunpowder, and quite a lot of alcohol. I originally tried to interview a Creeper, and here's what I got.
"Yessssss, we love our alcohol... it'sss quite ssssussstaining... wait why am I talking to you? SSSSSSS..."
    -A Creeper interview from my half-burnt file.
In their free time, they camp outside people's bases, and explode on the exit of the player. Various people have tried to suggest to the almighty Notch that he make iron doors Creeper-proof...

...but most were shot down by anonymous forces.

But as we develop technology to stop Creepers (mainly hitting them with shovels and failing to kill them), they are still evolving. But what are they evolving into?

The males evolve into this.

The females evolve into this.

Finally, in spirit of the holiday season, here are tips to keep your family safe from Creepers around Christmas time.
1. Have a rifle ready.
2. Have explosives too.
3. Don't let this down your chimney. Shoot it on sight.

4. If one of your presents has a Creeper face wrapping, don't assume your mother bought you one of those foam diamond swords and wrapped it in this. Please take liberty in burning it.
5. Creepers may enlist help with Skeletons with enchanted bows. Have water buckets ready in case your house starts burning down.
6. Have a safe, Creeper-free Christmas! (But don't leave the bazookas at home)

The Slice of Pie is a comedic series starting here at the Minecraft Mentor for your enjoyment.